So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
