I just made out with a guy for $7.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize