you guys were way drunker than both of me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
