Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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