im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she told me i tasted like america
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
