Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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