Christians are straight up FREAKS
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
nut hugger
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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