roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
