last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
