There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
