just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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