Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They took my balls.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
