He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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