Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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