Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
