i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
