ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
