He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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