Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
