Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".

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(773): View more from Illinois

I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it

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(786): View more from Florida

Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

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(702): View more from Nevada

I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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(616): View more from Michigan

they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter

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(765): View more from Indiana

he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.

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(970): View more from Colorado

She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too

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(678): View more from Georgia

seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.

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