Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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