Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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