I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
