he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
