For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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