Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
