soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
