I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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