I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
