You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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