who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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