How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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