Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
