Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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