Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
