Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize