i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
