I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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