I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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