She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
