i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Found the puke drawer
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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