No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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