I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My life is pants optional.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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