therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't deserve a penis
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
