I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
