YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
