I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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