It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize