Umm I'm too high to move.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
