Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
