i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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