Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
