To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
