Yo dont text me then not text me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i love accidental penises.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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