You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize