And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
