Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
