My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
