Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
