Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
