It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
