The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
