i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
