Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
