And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize